3.15.18

A blog about 3.15.17.

 2 days before surgery

I am feeling so many mixed emotions right now it is unbelievable. I remember this day like it was yesterday. One year ago today.. I had the biggest emotional break down of my entire life. Lauren Solomon, my sister, was holding me on my bed in Mexico, while I balled crying to her about how I was conflicted. I was unsure. I was scared. I was terrified of the unknown. I was fearful. Realizing soon after that darkness is the absence of light, and fear is simply the absence of faith. I wasn't trusting in God because I was terrified of not knowing what would happen in my future.

My fears also being: "What if I can never eat normally again? What am I going to do at my wedding when I can't drink champagne? What if all of my hair really does fall out? Why can't I just be normal and eat what normal people eat? I just don't understand." 

These thoughts flooded my mind and crowded my perception. People ask me, what were your doubts going into surgery.. well.. there they were. Lauren looked and reminded me to trust in what my grandfather has always told her. The big W and the little w, God's will and your will. There was my second chance at life, and I didn't know when else this could be a possibility. 

It hit me that night. I finally could see a light. I could visualize a possitive, yet scary, uneven, and windy road. A marathon not a sprint. A journey and not a diet. A life. A REAL, second chance to be healthy. I called my mom... and at 8:19 pm, we scheduled my appointment for March 29, 2017 at 7 am. ( THE BIG DAY *remember that?)

crazy how time has flown by. Honestly these past few weeks have been tough on me. I have not been my healthiest, yet I have not gained weight. I have been honest on my blog. I have shown y'all everything I have eaten. I have stress eaten.. I have BINGE eaten. I have craved, and caved. You name it, I have a name for it, and I've done it. My point being, sometimes I get so bothered by arguments, and tough situations I am surrounded by. I question why I am put in the ruts that I am in. I wonder why me? I think about what my life coulda woulda shoulda... and then I look back. It all happens for a reason.  Remember when I questioned the gastric bypass and almost didn't have surgery? Guess what?  THIS... blog would not be a thing. I would not be in Spain. You would not be reading this. I am not sure why, but EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Funny enough recently, someone that was dear to us said, Man plans, God laughs. It is really ironic isn't it?* ;) I am blessed to be surrounded by the most wonderful, strong, incredible family and best friends in the world. I am blessed for the life I have. I need to remind myself, that everything happens for a reason, and it will all work itself out. Do not be be fearful, have faith. 

** Oh and don't forget ( Karma will bite cha in the bootyyyy) 

Out and about

Hi guys! I quickly just want to thank everybody from the bottom of my heart for the support. I never realized that this blog would touch so many people, and I'm so blessed that it has.

As of yesterday, I am three weeks post op from my first original gastric bypass surgery. Late ‪Monday afternoon‬, I went to my first post op doctor appointment with Dr. Davis, at @Center for Metabolic and weight loss surgery at Dallas (on Facebook). 

Of course going to the doctors is never fun.  I thought to myself, what if he tells me I can't eat food yet? What if I have gained weight? what if this? What if that…?
I arrived to the office, and the first thing they did was weigh me. My nurse looked at me and said "Since, March 17, You have lost 38 pounds." I was floored, it's only been a month, and I haven't even gotten the chance to work out. After that I met with my doctor, Dr. Davis, and it was all so exciting. He said, "Your incisions look good, you look good, and now you are allowed to do whatever you want (meaning: I could drive, exercise moderately, and even help my mom run errands😂). 
As many of you know, I've been on a liquid diet for the past five weeks. That day, Dr. Davis gave me the OK to eat food... soft foods, but still, food. I don't think I've ever been so excited to hear the words, "you can eat an egg"  in my entire life. 

Afterwards my mind couldn't stop thinking about what I wanted to have for dinner. Of course me being a sushi fanatic, thought what better way to celebrate than with salmon. 
So, to commemorate the occasion, I took a short video. It is all about showing y'all what life as a gastric bypass patient, when it comes to eating for the first time. It was the weirdest thing. David, and I went to go fish poke, in Preston center. I walked up to the register and saw two bowls, a 24 ounce size, and 36 ounce size. I looked at the lady and laughed, and said, "do you guys have a kids menu?" I never thought in my entire life I be ordering off of the kids menu, but thankfully, they didn't have one. I explained my situation to the lady, and she let me order a la cart. I got a scoop of 2 ounces of salmon, and a scoop of 2 ounces of avocado. My whole meal cost four dollars. I sat down and thought... there is no way I i'm going to get full off of just this. I had to remind myself that it was all mental. I saw these one and a half ounce cups and decided I was going to separate my meal into them. I purposefully did so before I ate, to tell myself that I had to stop after I ate my portion. The weirdest thing happened, I got full of 1 1/2 ounces, which blew my mind. The way the gastric bypass works is as so: 60 g of protein a day, 60 ounces of water, low sugar, low-carb, and healthy fat. (Thank GOODNESS for my Doctor and his office for being so hands-on. These past five weeks I've been super stressed out and they have been beyond helpful with explaining whatever I have questioned.) 
Anyways, this was my first time eating with my new tiny belly, and I thought that I would share with you guys what it felt like. 
Last night, we cooked a perfect Chilean Seabass thanks too, Perle, from Jean Philippe. What is your favorite high-protein snack? Do you guys have any yummy recipes? Please share, I cannot wait to hear!