Striving for progress not perfection

HI!! 

My past four months have been absolutley life changing. 

Over the summer I have been working very hard physically and mentally to be the best I can be. 

Before I left for Greece, I had honestly only worked out probably 10 times since surgery (including walks). My inspiration to workout only came about recently when, I realized that while having a small stomach is great, I have to remember,  "calories in, calories out." Meaning, while I still will probably loose weight without working out, eventually I will plateau and get stuck. Not only has working out helped me continue with a somewhat steady weightloss, it has mentally been wonderful for me. I do find myself constantly in a battle with myself. I always try to make up an excuse to not workout, but once I force myself to workout, I feel amazing.

One thing that has really changed recently is my energy level. While I do workout, have a routine, and eat healthy, at the end of the day, I am exhausted. I am still not sure why my body shuts off around 8 or 9pm on days that I workout, but it annoys me. I used to be able to go out with my friends and hangout and sing until 4 am. While I could still do so, I am literally almost a zombie by 10 or 11pm. I think it is just my body's way of saying, you need rest. I do find  myself having very extreme workout weeks, and then some very pathetic weeks where I cheat and have foods I should not and make excuses to not workout.

I am realllllly lucky to have the trainers that I do. I workout often with @CoachRayRay at ASD Dallas. I find that when I train with him my body gets so sore. (BEST SORE) We will work on body parts that I had no idea existed... haha. His workouts remind me of 1 hour boot camps, with intervals of cardio. After just a week of going to ASD I can physically notice a difference in my body. I love working on toning. Shifting gears..... Tim, my hero, agent, trainor, and practically uncle, kicks my butt. Our workouts range from pushing football sleds, to doing squats, to jogging, to doing high knees. When we workout, I feel like I really get in a lot of my cardio. Lastly I have been working with my good friend Claire Coggins. She has personally calculated everything out for me and our workouts, and always challenges me. We workout on every part of my body, but focus on weight lifting and use the HIIT training theory. On top of working with these awesome people, I try to walk. I find that while I say that, I do not... SO I purposefully will make little changes. Something as small as parking at the end of the parking lot, taking the stairs over an elevator, and even walking around the mall to shop to get in my steps, makes a significant change! 

What do yall do to keep you energized throughout the day after a workout?? I drink water, take my vitamins, and am fairly healthy.. so I really would love your advice!!!!!

No easy "weigh" out

In life, there is no easy way out. This week, I realized that. Having gastric bypass surgery, has completely changed my life. I would not trade it for the world. Yet, like all big decisions we make, I still question myself. 

As much as I would love for my journey to be about constant positivity, and happiness, it is not. I have had my fare share of "tantrums" over the past week. Thoughts of binging and cheating frequently cross my mind. It would be so easy to just pick up a darn cookie. I just want to be allowed to eat ONE bite of watermelon... BUT I cannot. 

Yes I can eventually eat fruit, but right now I am in the "soft food" stage of my diet. My meals consist of low fat cheese, low fat yogurt, low fat cottage cheese, hummus, fish, and eggs, eggs, eggs. I can have bananas because they are soft, but in severe moderation. Even though I can have "soft" foods, I have to be very careful eating specially healthy soft foods. Mayo for example, is soft... Mayo has also made me sooooo sick. Along with mayo, anything too high in sugar, fat, and carbs will make me have "dumping syndrome". 

Gastric bypass is commonly known for the term dumping syndrome. For those who don't know what that is, let me explain. Dumping syndrome after gastric bypass surgery is when food gets “dumped” directly from your stomach pouch into your small intestine without being digested. There are 2 types of dumping syndrome: early and late. Early dumping happens 10 to 30 minutes after a meal. Late dumping happens 1 to 3 hours after eating. Each has slightly different symptoms, such as abdominal cramping, fast heartbeat, lightheadedness, and getting sick. It is the WORST THING EVER. Hindsight is 20/20. You learn quickly what you can and cannot eat. Every person with #rnysurgery (gastric bypass) struggles differently with dumping syndrome. 

So back to me wanting to cheat... I could if I REALLY wanted to.. BUT I would get sick. I have melt downs, and sad days when I actually ball my eyes out because I can't eat what everyone else eats. I am an addict. The reason I can't cheat is because for me, this is my option. Before surgery I had the choice to chose between my life with modifications, or my short road to depression, gaining weight, and a painful death. I chose life. I CHOOSE life. I do struggle, but I am getting through this, one day at a time. Everyday, more than the last, I work hard on retraining my brain. I try to refocus my passion for food onto something that is not food related.  I did have a physical surgery on my stomach, but in my mind, it was more than that. My surgery is a mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional new lifestyle that I promised myself, and God. How do I get through this rough patch? I pray. I ask for strength, and guidance. I sing. I songwrite about being upset. Most importantly, as my mom says, "One day at a time." 

How do you cope? 

Week 3; God's Unexpected plans

These past three weeks have been very trial and error for me. March 28, I had my first surgery. March 31, I had another surgery, and the following week, I took much-needed time to recover. I received beautiful flowers, gifts, prayers, text messages, and phone calls, from lovely people. The level of support and love that I have received in the past three weeks is impeccable.
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, were very hard on me, but as the week continued on, day by day I was healing. Every day I could add a few extra ounces to my meals, and drink more water. Friday I was actually feeling my best. 
Finally feeling like I could conquer the world, I figured it was about time I spiced up my food regimine. So that day, Friday, my Tia Paulita came by the house and helped me cook. We made 4 different kinds of puréed veggie soups. Every single one was absolutely gourmet and delicious.
Late Friday night I started to feel a bit off, so I took my anti-nausea medicine and went to bed. Saturday morning I had a cup of soup, and 10 minutes later got sick. It wasn't just throwing up, it was strange, I knew something was wrong. I threw up blood. The situation seemed similar to when I knew I was sick the day after my first surgery. As Saturday went on it became harder and harder to keep anything down. By Sunday, I could not take any medicine, and I was still getting sick. We contacted my doctor and he recommended I took My Lanta. I tried to do that but sadly I got sick. At that point he knew something was wrong too. He called Baylor Hospital and reserved us an incredible room, with a beautiful view. That night we got there and were greeted by a lovely nurse, who had both beds made for me and my mom, and an IV ready to give me. Due to the fact that I could not keep any liquids down for two days, I became very dehydrated.
We got my IV in by using this new machine called a vein finder, which was absolutely insane. Once I got my medicines and fluids started, I was off to sleep. At 8 AM the next morning I went in for an endoscopy. Dr. Davis noticed that in the endoscopy, he was able to get the tube entirely down through my stomach by moving a bit of scar tissue that was being built over. The acid in my esophagus finally subsided, and by the end of the procedure I was feeling much better.
     I finished around 10 AM and was sent back to my room to see if I could finally get down liquids. My room was located right behind the emergency landings for the helicopters. Being in that room really made me realize how blessed I am.

While I was trying to relax and get down my food, a lady named Beebee walked in to the room. She was a substitute Eucharistic minister taking over for someone named Richard wood. Funny story, I did not know that the minister would be working on Mondays. My grandfather,  Richard Wood,  happens to be out of town right now in Greece, celebrating Greek Easter. If this incident would've happened any other Monday, my grandfather would've been the one giving me communion. I was completely in awe. 
Later two nights ago, we were released from the hospital. Jeremiah Tyson and Cristen Cooper came over and gave me so much love. We laughed for many hours, and finally they went home once they saw that I was bobbing my head because I was so tired. 
  The one thing that is getting me through this journey is God. I have been in a lot of pain, I promise you this isn't easy. Of course. I am ready to lose weight, but you can never prepare yourself enough for something like this. Life always has its ups and downs, but it is hard. Mentally it is still hard for me to grasp that I will never be able to eat a normal plate of food again. On the other hand, I am grateful that I am given a second chance to overcome my addiction with food. It is hard waking up and smelling bacon when your brother is cooking it, or smelling butter and garlic, knowing that if I eat that right now, I will get sick. I am on a liquid diet for the next two weeks, and I have been on this diet for the past four weeks. I am officially down 32 pounds since March 17, 2017. I am very proud of myself.
Speaking about how I am getting through this, I should mention my, Alison Wood. My mom has been my saving grace. I'm so grateful for the love I have received from her. My mom has been taking care of me for the past three weeks, well my whole life, but these past three weeks have been very very difficult. I'm so grateful for everything that she does. She has a job from 8 to 6 every day.. called Take Stock Inventory (you should really check it out), she is selling the house, she has to stage the house, box the house up, go to work, take my brother to school, pick him up, feed us, make sure I have my medicine and that I am comfortable, and live her own life. On top of that.. I have had two unplanned surgeries this past week and a half and I don't know how she juggles it all. She gives absolutely everything that she has, to us, and I will never know how to repay her. She is the most wonderful mother in the world.
 

And we are back....at home :)

Hello hello! I am finally able to write my second blog, and I am very excited about it. 

Of course many people are wondering, why in the world has it taken so long for me to write this blog...... Well, I actually was just released from the hospital yesterday. 

Tuesday morning, March 28th, 2017, my life changed forever. I was wheeled into the operation room, and came out with a second chance. After the procedure I was taken up to my room, and surrounded by beautiful flowers, balloons, mini gold spoons, and my incredibly supportive, Dr. Dan Davis, and family. The day came and went. The most exciting part of Wednesday was getting a shower...but Wednesday, like Tuesday was pretty much a blur too.

On Thursday I had a swallow study, and realized that I was not able to hold down any liquids. The doctor closely monitored me and decided that on Friday we would have to have an emergency surgery. Friday morning I went in at 7:30 and was released from the operating room at about 11:30. I remember my parents and doctor standing over me, while I was trying to breath through the pain. I had no idea what was going on. The next thing I knew I opened my eyes and it was 6 pm on Friday night. Later that night I found out that I had a massive blood clot, (the size of a deflated football) in my abdomen walls, and the doctor had never seen anything like it. I am so blessed that he saw it, and took it out when he did. 

Saturday, I immediately started feeling better. I could finally, but slowly, take down my liquid pain medicine, and drink 1 oz of water every 15 minutes. I started to walk more often, and yes I still hurt, but I didn't feel like I was dying anymore!! Sunday morning my incredible doctor released me from the hospital, and my mom has become my doctor, at home nurse.

Last night, David, my brother, was confirmed and they had a mini party at my house. There was bbq and family, and I did crave a little bit of the food... but at the same time I realized, I am improving my life for a reason. I cannot and will not loose focus. I tried to hold down sugar free- fat free fro yo- but that did not go over to well. I was up four times last night, BUT for the first time since Tuesday, I got up by myself each time. ( I cannot tell you how annoying it is to not be able to pee by yourself) 

So now here we are.... Today, the first day of the rest of my life. Fighting an addiction, one day at a time. Each day more and more realizing who my true friends are, and who I am. I will keep on fighting, and bettering myself to be the best I can be. 

A New Chapter :)

My name is MC ... I am a 19 year old overweight singer with a dream, born and raised in Dallas, Texas. I pray I inspire other people, whether that be through my music or in my life. I have struggled with weight my whole entire life. I've been through it all: bullying, counseling, nutrition classes, fat camps, the newest fads, and even the Lap Band. But NOTHING has ever worked. Why you ask? 

I was never ready. 

This past year I've had many struggles with my Lap Band. I finally came to terms that I needed to have it removed. While in the process of figuring that out, I began to learn more and more about the gastric bypass. I wondered what made it so successful. I followed many accounts daily, waking up and going through hundreds of social media platforms to find out how it was so successful and what the downsides were. 

These past three months have been the hardest of my entire life. I was studying abroad through Berklee College of Music in Valencia. The original plan was to go back to Spain and live with my best friend, studying, traveling around the world, kicking butt in school, and having a great time. I firmly believe that God had bigger and better plans for me. Two days before my flight was leaving for Spain, I met with Dr. Davis, a brilliant gastric bypass surgeon from Baylor University Medical Center. After that meeting, it was as if the stars finally aligned. I now fully understood what I had to do. God was giving me a second chance at life.

I have stayed home this semester and decided that I am getting the gastric bypass. The reason this is different from any other time is, that this time, i'm not changing because of someone else. I'm not changing to feel happier, or to change my physical appreance. Yet, I'm only bettering myself. I am going on a life long journey, to figure out who I am.

People frequently ask me who are you? And I've come to terms with the truth.. which is, I don't entirely know yet. I know that I am MC, I'm not changing who I am, but I want to go on this journey to find out more about myself and more of who I am becoming. 

I want to be healthy: mentally, physically, and emotionally. I want to be motivated and finally I can say that I am. For the first time in my entire life, I can honestly say I'm happy. I'm genuinely happy, proud of my journey and so excited for my future. I know it is going to be very hard, but life isn't easy. 

I have gone through many many tests, met with psychologists and nutritionists. As opposed to the lapband, I am very prepared for this. During the past two weeks, I have been on a liquid diet (hence the protein shake video) and have lost 21 lbs. 

I hope that we can all go on this journey together. I don't want this to be a one-day blog. The one thing that would've helped me this past is to have realized that I am not alone. By doing this blog I will keep myself accountable and hopefully inspire those around me. I will be releasing more music, along with many videos on Instagram and Facebook. I promise to document this entire journey so that we could not only see this together, but in the end be the best we can. We all have our own issues, so let's come together as one and figure out how to solve them.
Throughout these few months I have learned a lot. My favorite realization: I am writing a book. I am writing my own book, and will continue to do so until I die. Today is the first page of a brand new exciting chapter. I am sure there will be bumps in the road, and tons and trials and errors, but without making mistakes, we will never learn to succeed. As my mother reminds me every day, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Lets ALL choose to LIVE today, and continue to write our book.